This I think is gonna be one of those deals where I’m gonna have to quietly ignore the comments sections on the TLC video for my own sanity, due to speculation on my sincerity at the end of the video and how I define addiction and alcoholism. The first point is something I’ve had to deal with before with my documentary, and with that I laid myself out WAY more on the line so hey, at this point I’m used to people questioning the sincerity of it, or downright trolling it. Don’t get me wrong, it isn’t terribly common, but it happens, and I think the major reason people shy away from the vulnerability of sharing sincere emotion is because it really kinda hurts when people question it.
On that point I’ll just say this; yeah, at this point in time, almost ten years after she died, it hits me more than it ever has. I don’t know why this point in time is the hittin’ time, but there ya go. I got weepy and emotional a LOT during the research of this beast. I didn’t even start to mention that the footage of Left Eye dying is floating around the nets and quite easy to find. No, really.
But on the point of alcoholism there seems to be much more dissent; as a longtime Loveline listener, I’ve always adhered to the Dr. Drew school of thought on the matter, and he consistently refers to addiction as a disease, including a genetic predisposition at that. Having quite a bit of experience with alcoholics in my family and, hell, being a low level addict myself, yes, addiction is a disease, just like depression, just like bipolar disorder. It is often a fatal disease, as Club 27 teaches us.
There was a LOT of my little ramble at the end that I cut out that makes it a bit less tenuous, and hell, that shit was hard to edit. But let me make this clear; no one who succumbs to addiction deserves ridicule. One of the key prerequisites for addiction is a certain level of Shit one has gone through that feeds the addiction, be it unavailable parents or a shitty job or a history of sexual or physical abuse (that’s usually the most common)- no true addict has a happy life.
And Amy Winehouse is no exception. Alcoholism never comes alone- it’s usually accompanied with a healthy dose of depression. She was ill, whatever was wrong in her head, and for whatever reason she never had an incentive to turn her life around. Most people who die from their addictions don’t. But they don’t deserve ridicule; they just didn’t conquer those demons in time.
I must assume that anyone who looks down on addicts who died as weaklings who deserved it, well, they just haven’t been alive for very long. Either that or they enjoy a good, healthy superiority complex.
That’s me being charitable.
Not to mention that there are many forms of addiction, not all of them related to illegal drugs or alcohol. Food, pornography, on-line gaming, or (my Dad has this one) recording/copying (he seriously has spent more money on DVD-Rs than on cigarettes at this point, and he’s been a smoker for 38 years).
I won’t drone on, just want to say thank you for taking this subject seriously, more so than even some of your peers at Channel Awesome (even ones I otherwise have a great deal of respetc for) have,
I don’t view Alcoholism as a disease but I’m fine with most people’s feelings that it is. As far as the Amy Winehouse thing, I never liked her music but I never said anything bad about her especially after her death. It’s always sad when people can’t conquer their demons in time.
P.S. I loved your documentary. I’ve gone through something similar and it meant alot to me.
How long did it take for your copy to arrive?
I’ve come to view addiction as Mother Nature’s way of weeding out the duds in humanity. You wanna sniff gasoline 100 times a day? Go ahead! You like to eat the foam stuffing from a sofa? Sure, why not?*
Of course, as an “Adult Child of an Alcoholic,” I am perhaps a little biased in my opinion, but there you go.
*examples taken from the show My Strange Addiction
Obviously, your terrible experience also killed any hope of having compassion for your fellow human as well. Sad.
I think you said what needed to be said. I already told Film Brain that I likened your TLC review to his Seven Pounds review. He, like you, worked feverishly on the project. From script to video, he wanted to make sure everything was perfect. He explained to me and his other betas why he felt so strongly on the issue, which in this case was suicide. Buck also wanted to make certain he said what needed to be said. I have to say you both did a fantastic job. There’s no speculation needed. You were both very genuine. It means a lot to the people watching. Whether they admit it or not.
You both poured your hearts out in those videos and within my circle of friends, you’d be hard pressed to find a single dry eye in the house. You both showed a side of the contributors a lot of people don’t usually get to see unless you’re close friends with someone. It makes you human and your vids will strike a chord with whoever is listening.
Will there be haters? Yes. That’s a truth of the Internet. In the end, that doesn’t matter. What matters is that you stood up there with your head up high and you talked about what was on your mind. Bravery is important in this line of work. You explained your story well and I have a feeling people will respect you for it. If not, then it’s their loss.
Addiction can be a scary thing to deal with. I know. I’ve had friends who had to deal with demons. They’re better for conquering it. But, you do have a point about the Winehouse tragedy. It is exactly that. A tragic end. Whether you liked the singer or not, no one deserved to go like she did.
If anyone’s going to troll the video, it’ll just serve as a message that some people out there are really insecure about these types of issues. Sometimes it’s best to take people aside and go off the script to say what’s on your mind and I for one am glad you did!
I have to say I really admired you for what you said at the end of the video, and now even more for this blog. You almost had me crying, and that is an accomplishment. Anyone who questions your sincerity must have been watching it on mute, because I don’t know any actor who can put that sound, that real emotion, in their voice.
It seems like just about every time I turn around you’re doing something I consider brave, you’re a great woman and I consider you a role model and wish others would do the same instead of tearing you down.
My family has a history of addiction and alcoholism, I’ve found I was lucky to not know my grandparents until they were able to get past it. To see someone defending people who are no longer around to defend themselves because of things outside of their control means a great deal.
It makes me wonder what people would think of, say, Princess Diana if she’d suffered alcoholism.
For what it’s worth, I loved the video. It was quite a mood swing there at the end. I went from chuckling to being moved by your sincerity.
Addiction is a terrible thing, and it is very difficult to overcome. Often even if an addict leaves the environment in which he/she initially developed the addiction and has a great support network in the form of understanding family and friends, they still can succumb to it.
People who deny this most likely never experienced it up close. It’s easy to judge something when you only know it second hand from watching TV.
Thanks for the video, and honestly don’t pay attention to what people say in the comments.
I’ve never thought of addiction as a disease to be honest, to me addiction is the symptom, the disease is the various stuff you were talking about that keeps people from getting help for it.
After Amy Winehouse died one of my friends on Twitter responded to some of the negativity towards her with “Remember, she didn’t want to be that way.” To which I could only reply “Part of her must have, or she would have found a way to stop.”
I see so many instances where people go “I’m gonna get clean, stop drinking/drugs/etc. and everything will be better!” and that actually makes it worse because the addiction is their buffer from all the crap they’ve gone/are going through, and once they’re clean and they lose that buffer, all the crap in their lives hits them like a truck, and they usually end up deeper in the addiction then when they started.
All this seems especially true for celebrities whose handlers don’t want them to be dealing with deep personal issues for who knows how many years to actually fix their problem, they just want them to stop showing up to shows drunk and generating bad press by smashing up hotel rooms. So they stuff them in a rehab center until the star says they’re cured, but in reality they’re worse off then when they started.
Id like to say something, though i realize that you may even ignore this blogs comments as well to save your sanity.
Revealing part of yourself, particularly when you are associated with a site where most of the reviews are comedy based. Its hard for people to discern when real emotions come out during reviews. Also I don’t think a lot of people who watch your videos have heard of your documentary. The only reason I took notice was your a fellow film student and honestly you command some respect from me because of how hard that must have been on you to do. (the documentary not being a film student)
Also since the internet has become so prevalent in our lives we’ve all grown as a global community and sadly shrank greatly in terms of human compassion. The effect is compounded when someone in the public eye in play. I must admit when Amy Whinehouse died I had no strong feelings one way or the other. Mostly because she had so many opportunities to clean up, put into rehab several times over and still couldn’t get things to work for her. Now thats really more of a comment on the people around her as well as her own issues. So her untimely and rather unknown death obviously great fervor because Amy couldn’t simply conquer her own demons and her first major hit had to do with rehab….it was almost something comical when you looked it objectively.
Left-Eye faced her demons and got taken. It was a tragedy and obviously it echos some aspects of your life that you would rather not have to deal with because of the emotional responses they drudge up. I understand that and will not comment any further on that side of the topic.
A good question to ask right now would be A) Where’s all this coming from and B) what gives him the right to infer anything based on my life.
The answer to A) is this, I have clinical depression and consider suicide about once to twice a month. I do not life with my condition I AM my condition, i cannot recover, i cant be better because I’m honestly scared of who I am with it, and if it fails I worry I’ll fall even deeper into the dark hole I’m already in. I have a feeling that Amy Whinehouse was in the same place, and as I said she probably didn’t have many positive influences in her life.
I realize comparing my situation to hers is a lil unfair. She was in the public spotlight, having people constantly push her in many different ways, and being poked and prodded by comedy show, gossip magazines, etc.
B) Honestly we all have tragedies though to be rather frank mine were always via extended family, I’ve never really been close to people in my life (which is an entirely different situation.) I’m more a lil touched that Lindsay would come out and admit these things for us. Its obvious shes surrounded by people who enrich her life and even with them this was very hard for her to do. I really wish people would just respect that those were real emotions.
Lindsay,
I just want to say thank you for your sincerity in your last video concerning the topic of alcoholism. My mom has been diagnosed with alcoholism five years ago, but it has effected my family for longer. It’s difficult for me to sometimes remember that it is a disease and part of me just gets so angry at her. “Why can’t you get over this? Why can’t you be there for me? Why can’t I have my mom back?” and there have been moments of sobriety where she’s apologized… but to see how easily it comes back. A disease is really the only way to describe it.
I wasn’t sure where I was going to go with this but I just wanted to say thank you. It meant a lot to me, whatever that means to you.
Nicole
Quite simply, Lindsay, thank you.
That took some serious balls.
I find myself a little lost in reading this, but I gathered that you were showing sympathy for people with addictions, which I can only agree with. Anyone who would ridicule you for doing this is beyond sympathy in my book. Frankly, fuck em! They are no doubt the same kind of people who would yell at a homeless people and demand they “get jobs”? Such people are useless in my opinion, truly useless in that they only make life more difficult for those who have it hard and give a sense of comfort for people who want to feel better about having it easy. Keep fighting the good fight Lisa! You’re a sensitive soul in a world full of assholes!
Hii NChick. My name is Stevie and I’ve been a fan of yours (and of the TGWTG site) for a little bit now but I’ve never really replied to something that one of you has done yet. Call it fangirlism or whatever but I feel like I have to respond now after seeing the TLC video and reading your entry here. Hopefully this will be short. I get wordy…
This review took me to another place entirely. I don’t think any other contributor to the site has made me cry before or made me fully reflect on how an icon so profoundly touched my life or reminded me of the disgusting things I thought about another person. When Left Eye died, I felt the loss. Her words inspired me and their music still brighten my day. I can’t help but smile sadly during her parts of the songs. But for some reason that I won’t excuse or deny, I reacted so badly to Amy Winehouse’s death. I scoffed at her, wondering why anybody should pause and remember her. I laughed at jokes about her. I acted like I didn’t know better. And when I realized what I had done, instead of admitting to it, I let it go. I didn’t feel sorry. I just felt like it was over and who cared.
Then the end of the review came up and I realized how horrible all those things I thought and said and others thought and said were. I sat there and cried a bit not just because of remembering Left Eye’s death but because I had been ignorant and disrespectful towards another person. When you said above that alcoholism is like bipolar disorder, it especially hit home for me. Really hard. I got diagnosed with bipolar disorder a few years ago and a few steps in the wrong direction makes the depression end of it worse and worse. I get lost in it and feel very alone and broken.
When that happens, I generally need something calming to listen to and believe it or not, TGWTG is where I go a lot of the time. It’s nice to hear familiar voices and see the gags and laugh for a bit sometimes. But I go to your videos especially because, like this last review, you challenge me. You’re the reviewer on the site who challenges me actually. You make me think, you make me rant, you make me form my own arguments, you make me laugh, you make me sit up and pay complete attention. These are all things I do naturally but while depressed, I forget. And your videos help me remember.
Anyway, I say all that to say that amongst all the flack you’ll get and the trolls and the disagreements and such, you did help me even if you didn’t know it. Thank you for opening up and showing us your heart in this review and thank you for all your hard work. You and Team NChick.
(Um, I think you mean Lindsay)
I’m leaving a comment solely because I know I wanted to say something, but for the life of me I cannot articulate it in the way that I want to.
I think I’ll avoid talking about addiction, because you’ve already said what needs to be said, and I don’t think a lot of people actually understand that.
But I appreciated the sincerity of your video, and the sincerity in this post.
I remember when I was in high school I had a nervous breakdown, and music was my salvation (not the playing it, but the listening to it), and TLC was one of the groups that played a lot and helped me. When Left Eye died shortly after that it was depressing as all hell, and watching your video did make me cry.
But I think the one thing we need to remember is exactly what you ended your video with, that although it was sudden, and her conquering her demons makes her out-of-the blue death seem all the more tragic, she left behind a great message in her music.
I hope your video makes more people go and listen to TLC, and that their music will inspire people, and maybe help them the way they helped me.
I didn’t watch the end. Sorry, but this group means nothing to me and hearing your emotional stuttering was confusing and awkward. Good for you that you try and put some serious stuff in your videos. Don’t be bummed about many people not giving a shit, we’re just idiots like that.
Indeed it was very touching. A number of people in my family had issues with alcohol. Sometimes it’s hard not to be judgmental, but the chemical addiction of alcohol (or most any mind altering substance) is really a nasty business. Both Lisa Lopes and Amy Winehouse were fantastic respective talents, but sometimes even that isn’t enough to keep the demons at bay.
Thank you for this thoughtful look at things.
Thank you for writing this, and thank you for the end of your TLC review. I don’t want to go into my sob story, but my life is full of addicts. I was born to two addict parents, and I lost my father last year before I knew what he really could have been like as a man when he was imprisoned and then shortly thereafter committed suicide. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t miss the father I saw in shining moments when I was a very, very small girl and there isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t wish he had looked to something outside himself (something the AA program would call a Higher Power) to help him battle the demons inside himself and the substances that controlled his life . And every day, I find myself lucky to have a mother who survived, who fought her way out of a crippling addiction and a bout of horrible cancer, and who is now one of my very best friends. The idea of her turning back to alcohol and losing herself to it, the idea of her dying because she is and always will be addicted to alcohol terrifies me every day.
From probably every recovering Alanon out there, thank you for not being harsh and cold and cynical and thank you for stating that addiction in any form is a disease. So many people fail to realize that and so many people are cruel in the face of these tragedies, and the more influential people out there who speak out against that indifference the kinder the world will be. Thank you.
I just finished watching the vid that inspired this post and… Anybody who reacts negatively to it probably should take some time to reexamine themselves.
My first thought after seeing it, ‘she needs a hug.’ It took a lot of guts to put yourself out their like that and I knew it was you and not ‘The Chick’ talking the second I saw the pig tails were gone. If I ever started a video series like yours I’m not sure I would be able to do something like that. Thank you for putting this one up.
I just watched that episode of yours and… wow. While it was a bit more analytical and retrospective than usual (While still delivering a few really good laughs), I was not prepared for the courageously earnest closing part. Definitely unexplored territory for the Internet reviewer civilization, and at least my insignificant self really appreciates that you are using your platform to breach some topics deeper and more important than “Anyway, how’s your sex live, huh?”
And you made me think.
Full disclosure: I am a notoriously cynical bastard who hates a lot of things and a lot of people. And even though I’ve never suffered a personal tragedy connected to it, I always had a particularly antagonist relationship with alcohol (and similar substances). If prohibition actually worked, I’d be the first to vote in favor of it. As such, I’ve always thought that there is always some blame to put on addicts themselves. After all, they started drinking or smoking or shooting up or whatever. Then again, with something as culturally prevalent as booze, it’s not so easy to never start at all. Sure, I never touch a drop, but that’s easy when being the asshole buzzkill who never goes anywhere or does anything, anyway. And, with preposition for addiction, it can always be something, no matter how much you avoid. If it’s not booze, it might be videogames or sex or eating. One can’t exactly avoid literally everything that triggers a release.
Maybe I should be less judgmental and more considerate than I have been so far. I’m not making promises here, but… The seed is in the soil.
I came very close to dying because of my depression on several occasions but I never had the motivation to fix myself until I met my first real best friend. Hanging out with her gave me the motivation to go out and become a part of the world again, but it wasn’t enough. I was refusing to seek medication because of the fear. It was overpowering, and since i also suffer from anxiety/panic problems It was something I couldn’t overcome
My friend got fed up with me and walked out of my life, and I immediately spiraled back down into a suicidal state. It was losing this friend that motivated me to seek that bit of help, but it was almost too late. Even with the meds, I have the suicidal compulsions and, at the time, they were more powerful than ever because of the grief and pain and confusion and betrayal.
It takes a lot of time and a lot of effort to overcome this stuff and I’m still working on it, because all this happened a couple months ago.
I eat compulsively whenever I’m having emotional problems, and have very often found myself wanting the booze my dad keeps in the fridge.
I don’t know if my depression could have led to alcohol abuse, but it’s very likely considering my compulsive eating and I thank God every day that I can say “I’ve never had a drop of alcohol in my life”
What I mean is, It’s hard and you’re right that one shouldn’t be mocked for failing to “pass muster” or whatever. I had to have a lot of miracles in my life in order to survive.
*offers hugs*
On the subject of Amy Winehouse: I never spoke well of her, in fact I rarely spoke of her. I’m not going to suddenly speak well of her now that she’s gone. Why? Because it won’t help her. I won’t mourn someone I didn’t know. It would feel like crashing a funeral. Hell, to me going to a funeral feels like crashing one. I’ve had four people close to me die and each time it felt like I was just there for the shrimp cocktail.
On the subject of TLC: as a while but highly urban human being I can say black people listened to TLC. Competition was stiffer but they were always up there among… actually wow, I can’t remember anyone else at their level.Maybe the Missy Elliott Allyah clique? The only real difference is in black culture TLC was succeeded more by Destiny’s Child than Spice Girls. Although, I don’t remember Destiny’s Child every making anything even as substantial as Scrub. Kinda wanna say Arrested Development, but they weren’t nearly as popular.
Yeah, it is best to avoid the TGWTG comments. I skimmed them and while a lot were surprisingly kind, many were also very unnecessary. I decided to comment here because I wanted to tell you that you’ve done a lovely job and the emotion you showed was touching and beautiful. You’re a brave and intelligent woman and I think you gave the subject the weight it deserved.
I will definitely concede that Alcoholism is a mental disorder. You’re absolutely right. But that’s not what you said. You said it’s a disease like Cancer is a disease. And although I have a huge amount of respect for you, I still have to disagree here. There are people who rage against it, but in the end the only person who can save an alcoholic is themselves. You can support them, you can be there for them, but they have to help themselves. It’s easy to want to believe that alcoholism is a disease, because we want to believe the people we love are not really like that. But they are.
It’s not that what you said was horribly stupid or totally out of nowhere. After all, there are a lot of really reputable organizations that say alcoholism is a disease.(And by the way AA can go fuck itself.) But I will guarantee you every person who commented on Facebook, TGWTG, and here that took issue with this statement as an adult child of an alcoholic. We grew up ignored, neglected, beaten, burned, and humiliated. Our parents knew better, oh yes- they did. And they did it anyway, because they were too wrapped up in their own trauma and pain to stop themselves.
It’s not that we’re angry, Lindsay. We’re hurt. Because we deal with it every day of our lives. We have to come to terms with the fact that someone we loved hurt us- and did so on purpose. And when someone announces, “It’s a disease like Cancer.” it takes irresponsibility and places it elsewhere. It alludes to the idea that, yes they hurt us, but they couldn’t help themselves. And that… is just not true. As much as we want it to be, it just isn’t.
I know that this wasn’t the point of your review at all. And apart from that, I really, really like what you said. And your right, alcoholics don’t deserve to be ridiculed- that guy is an idiot. But you unintentionally touched a nerve with some people. And you’re still cool in my book.
My thoughts exactly. Cancer is something that HAPPENS to somebody. Alcoholism is something that somebody does to THEMSELVES.
In my experience, alcoholism is more of the symptom than the actual disease. Depression/other mental disorders and an addictive personality are the real illness, and it manifests in something like alcoholism or other dangerous and disruptive addictions. Yes, technically, by drinking, someone is pushing the alcoholism on themselves, but the actual disease is the thing that keeps their self-control out of their reach.
I’m not good with words, but I want to say, when you cry, I cry. Both here and in the A Word, you moved me with your emotion.
I want to know if you read Russell Brand’s statements on Amy Winehouse:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2011/jul/24/russell-brand-amy-winehouse-woman
You are one of the strongest people I know of. <3
I debated about commenting ever since I saw the review. Let me first say this, You are extraordinarily brave, It is very humbling to see someone be that open in front of a large audience. I don’t think I have the courage to do something like that. Whether or not alcoholism can be considered a disease is a very debated topic, even among the well informed. I really don’t have an opinion on the matter, I’ve never been addicted to any sort of substance, and while some people in my life did drink to excess, they really didn’t do it to a point where they started to destroy their lives.
Regardless, it was an important thing to say and I’m glad you did. However, I do have to wonder whether the TLC video was the place to say it. For me at least, the tone shift was a bit jarring. Like, I’m waiting for the light hearted joke to relieve the tension at the end that never came. I think it would have been more effective if it was it’s own vlog, not part of a NChick review. I don’t know if you remember, but when TGWTG first started there was a shooting at Doug’s old Alma Mater. Doug addressed the issue in a separate video, away from his Critic review. That way, the audience can really treat it with the seriousness the subject deserves. They don’t expect a punchline at the end. But I thank you for your openness, and I hope getting it off your chest will help you get some sort of closure. Take care of yourself, Lindsay
but when TGWTG first started there was a shooting at Doug’s old Alma Mater. Doug addressed the issue in a separate video, away from his Critic review.
Really? Dare I ask for a link?
And as for Lindsay, thank you for being so open about things like this, especially for – as weird as it might sound – letting your hair down and making it clear that this was you talking, not any sort of character. *hugs*
I can understand the blowback since TGWTG is supposed to be a comedy site, so it’s not surprising the serious moment of reflection in the last 25% of the vid would catch a lot of people off guard. I realize you really want to interject a personal, serious, non-funny moment for once, but it seems a bit out of place. Like when sitcoms in the 80s and 90s did “a very special episode” (why interject drama and subliminal PSAs into comedy?)
I think the video’s first 3/4 of usual NChick riffing and observations was great, but the sudden stop-on-a-dime to seriousness caught me and probably a lot of viewers off guard. You probably could have either cut it a little shorter or done it as a separate video. It does come across as soapboxy.
I disagree that “alcoholism is a disease”, it’s more a genetic predisposition. And we have the technology available today to “treat” people with this condition. They can turn their lives around. I don’t think it’s fair to ask people to pity those with this condition since it can be treated – all it really takes is willpower and humility. Cancer on the other hand….
But ultimately it’s YOUR show so do it the way YOU want. I’ll keep watching… unless EVERY episode turns into “Nostalgia Critic meets Barbara Walters Special” LOL
I already left a comment on your Facebook page, but I wanted to back you up a bit on the whole alcoholism-cancer analogy. As complex as both topics are, I thought there was another parallel you didn’t mention(as I saw you mentioned how neither are ever “cured,” and the best you can hope for is remission.) Both are conditions where you are, ultimately, fighting yourself.
I see posts above where people are claiming that alcoholism is a disease people bring on themselves, while cancer isn’t–but if you take that outlook, lung cancer could be something you did to yourself by smoking, or HIV could be something you brought on yourself by having not-protected-enough sex with the wrong person, or depression is something you gave yourself by having a bleak outlook. People just don’t want to accept that horrible things can happen regardless of how good a person you are. No one “earns” their terminal illness or their alcoholism or their mood disorder. As someone whose antidepressants gave her cancer, I’d be really fucking pissed if someone said I would have been just fine if I hadn’t “chosen” to be depressed.
Your TLC tribute has catapulted to one of my absolute favorite videos on TGWTG, ever. Respect.
I know this comment’s going to be buried under piles of off-topic wankery and the cancer vs. alcoholism debate has been argued to death already. But in case you’re reading Lindsay, I’m just here to offer some positivity. I think I understand what you were trying to say and what you meant, even if the metaphor was a bit clumsy. Mental and biological illness are not the same, but they can wreak havoc on a person in very similar ways. And for many, there is no cure, only remission. If the sickness is not kept under control, it can relapse and get worse every time.
I’m sorry for the problems that addiction has caused in your own life. I don’t question your sincerity at all. A good friend I’ve known since middle school overdosed on drugs a few years ago, and it’s tragic when it takes something like that to realize how troubled a person really was. The worst part was that, like Amy Winehouse, he was on his way to recovery but one mistake cost him his life. While her cause of death is officially unknown, the cruel irony is that it was most likely caused *because* of her recent sobriety. It’s not unheard of for severe alcoholics to die from the shock of withdrawal. That is absolutely nothing to make light of.
I adored TLC as much as you did back in the day. I just finished watching the “Last Days of Left Eye” documentary on YouTube today and was reminded of what an interesting person she was. While I’ve never gotten weepy over a celebrity, I do truly regret that she’s no longer with us. She would have gone on to do even more amazing things, on her own and with the band. I’m just glad that Lisa was able to live her life healthy and in a fulfilling way before she was killed. She didn’t die in a pit of despair, she left on a high note. To me, that’s inspiring.
Now I’m gonna go binge on some TLC music videos.
I don’t know where else to post this: I just saw your review of Spider-Man: Turn off the Dark and it seems pretty obvious that the Green Goblin is based on the old McDonald’s mascot Mac Tonight. Just like the bad guy from the Mask plus Nathan Lane plus Mac Tonight.
Also, I just watched the Turn Off the Dark preview on youtube, and the green goblin calls himself “a 64-million-dollar tragedy.” Is that some grade-A metacommetary about the musical or what, since you mentioned that’s what the show cost?
I thought your review was wonderful, and seeing you open yourself up like that at the end of the video was very touching. I wish we could see the unedited version, I’m sure you continued to give a beautiful tribute to Lopez, Winehouse and your friend.
Addiction is a terrible affliction, and I am incredibly grateful for your sincere and caring handling of it in the review.
Thanks and stay awesome!
I also think it was brave to put that heartfelt ending to the TLC video yesterday.
I don’t think alcoholics should be made fun of or have people “eye-roll” at their deaths. They are people with sad issues and problems. Alcoholics do have a genetic disposition toward become addicts.
That being said, comparing alcoholism to cancer is offensive. (I’m not talking about cancer due to smoking or something like that. That actually is comparable).
Linds gets blasted again for being… (shock, horror, outrage) REAL! So the hell what? I like that in my Internet reviewers every now and then. Honesty goes a long way – everyone (here) knows that. Whenever something horrible happens that is awfully close to you, how can you not be affected?
Re: TLC… best girl group of my generation because they all were treated fairly equally – each member was strong in their own way, and the sum was truly greater than the parts.
Re: Amy Winehouse… part of me admits I saw it coming. But another part says, “Why didn’t enough people stop this from happening?” (and I hope to God that ‘profit before life’ is not the mantra I’m gonna hear in the coming months)
By the way, I could tell something was coming when I noticed Linds was wearing the same shirt she did during the centerpiece of “The A Word.” I don’t know if this was accidental, but… just something for you guys to watch in the future.
So, this is gonna sound crap and REEAAALLLY Trollish, but sod it, I’ve said worse.
I said on the comments on the vid (in my guise of FunkyM) that I admired the guts it took to make that vid. I’ve always loved the Solo Nostalgia Chick videos (being that I’m drawn to the Idea of “cosmic cousins”, or an idea re-interpreted myriad ways), and I liked that song “Waterfalls” even if I didn’t really understand the message behind it. “No Scrubs”, not so much.
Anyways, the point I’m trying to make is that I don’t, nor would I ever, look down on anyone for baring my soul. Hell, Ferngully (Which NC/hick trashed, I remember) helped me through a tough adolescence, among other movies. And I don’t know about the pain of addiction, I’ve never really known an addict of any stripe.
All I know is that there are people out there that need people more than they know, and the lucky ones find their support network in time. I know I found mine, but that’s a story for another time.
But yeah, Lindsay is awesome, never change, and Isn’t it time you gave Ferngully another chance? Toodle-pipski!
I think I’ve been watching your NChick videos since late 2009 and reading your blog probably since 6 or 7 months after that. After reading this particular entry I have but one question: will you marry me?
Well, being a dude, TLC was never my bag of cheetos, though I did respect their talent and the good works they tried to do with it. Also “No Scubs” is hittin a little close to home for me right now (sheepish grin). Mad love to ya girl for puttin yourself out there like that. I come from a childhood of extreme physical and psychological abuse so I know exactly how that screws you up for life and drives you to some form of escape.
10 years ago I would take a liter of non-diluted vodka and a 2 liter of pepsi and drink myself into a coma every night. And if I should happen to have some weed, blow, smack or whatever else, so much the better. I’ve managed to kick every thing but the booze and I’ve got that down to a bender every couple of weeks (including the can of Tilt in my hand tonight).I started the madness of drugs and alcohol at 17 and I’m now 37. After 20 years, I’ve learned a few things.
First, get a goal for your life and make a plan to get there. My friends have been amazed out how my attitude and self esteem have improved since I did this.
Second, let go of resentment and/or hatred for those that may have damaged you in the past. They’ll get theirs on own eventually, so you don’t need to worry about it, doing so will only drag you down over shit you can’t change, focus on yourself and what you can change.
Third, be a good person, help those you can, you’ll like yourself more.
Fourth, realize that the demons of addiction are immortal and can never truly die. I’ve seen way too many people go down during times of strife cuz they thought they had the demons licked and actually they were only biding their time. When life is kickin your ass again, the demons WILL try get their hooks in you once more. When it’s really bad is when is when you have to be at your strongest. Which is a right bitch cuz that’s when it’s the hardest to do.
Last, don’t hate yourself if you slip, you’re only human and you you your limits. Just try your damnedest to pick yourself back up again.
In closing, to all those battling the demons of addiction and the scars of abuse, you don’t have to stay where you are, get a dream and go for it. You have to start putting one foot in front of the other. There is always a better place, but you are the only one who can get yourself there.
Thank you Lindsay, for giving of yourself to remind us all that everyone is damaged in some way or another, and no matter what we may be going through someone else has been there and we are never truly alone.
Out of all the people on the site, most use their talent to just entertain, you use yours to try and help people and that is why I have the most respect for you. To be honest, it’s kinda nice having someone like you on the net.
P.S. Tell Todd I DO wish I was Him. Bastard
This review kinda reminded me that our humanity can be lost, numbed and kicked to the world’s end, but it always manages to comes back, sometimes unexpectedly, sometimes while you’re watching a review.
I have no idea if you’ll read this, probably not, but hey, I’m only wasting pixels here… But that review kinda made me feel more human. Go figure.
So, I was watching some old reviews out of pure boredom, when I eventually loaded the TLC. Being a brazilian and (at the time) completely out of touch with america’s music scene, I had no idea who they were. I kept on watching, laughing as something funny was said, thinking about Lisa Lopez (which i heard that she died, but never thought she was in a band on the early 90s), and how she died, and, yeah, it’s a shame to admit that I even had some ill-humored comments about her addiction, her abusive relationships and such, but since we’re here, let’s be honest, right?
And then, you loosened your hair and started talking. At first, not very impressed, but it started to become more intense, I dunno, but there was something about your voice, your tone, or just your expression at the time, and it started to kick in – i’m looking at a human being, not a bunch of pixels which are conveniently erased from my screen as I close my web browser. It was a real, tangible person (albeit the oceanic distance), and this person was opening her heart, showing such overwhelming emotions that are so rare to see not only on a reviewer, but on a human being. We’re all so enclosed on our shields of self-importance and skepticism, that such a heartfelt display of emotions is, at the very least, uncommon.
As I watched, I cracked. I could see my skepticism, my feelings of self-importance, and all the mean, horrible things I’ve said about alcoholism, abuse, and even about Amy Winehouse. Maybe I was being mean to shield myself from the perception that this is happening to people that are, in some level, so similar to me, that makes trolling a much more confortable position – to step away from the pain that I could be feeling. And when I saw your face, your almost soggy eyes, your hesitant speech, I saw all the things I was keeping away. I felt them, crawling through my skin. Reflected in you, I glanced at the pain I was keeping away from myself. I guess it was what the greeks tried to achieve with their tragedies… Pure catharsis. I felt ashamed of myself, ashamed of all the things I’ve said. And, I dunno, I felt as I was purged. Obviously that was not your intention (I mean, who goes around willingly making cathartic videos to cleanse mean internet and real life trolls like myself?), but you surely were the catalyst.
For that I thank you. If not only for today, you helped me become a better person. And I’m sorry for rambling on your comment box (and for the errors and misuse of words, but hey, I’m not a english native speaker, so I think everybody who reads this could be a bit indulgent instead of pointing my many errors), but it’s like you said – most people are ashamed of sharing real emotions, but why not? What am I to lose?
Thanks, Lindsay. Really.
I often get stung when I let my guard down and speak plainly
Just remember that, although there are tons of people trying to tear you down so that they might feel better, you are telling the rest of us that it is OK to talk about very personal things
I don’t really care too much about TLC or any of that but I was touched by your piece
Thanks for being an example for the rest of us to remember when we are afraid to lay it out there in front of everyone
I don’t leave many posts, but this seemed important. Thought I’d throw it up on your blog since you’ll probably be ignoring the TGWTG comments.
I want to start out by saying that bit at the end was very poignant and heart felt and really resonated with me. My cousin was killed by some gang members (he was not in a gang himself) when I was four right after he had gotten a lot of personal problems sorted out, so I think I have some idea of what you’re talking about.
For me however, putting up a cynical front and saying (about Amy) “Well that was no huge surprise” helps me cope with the world and all the terrible things that happen every day. That said, I do feel horrible for her and her loved ones, not to mention more than a little angry at our voyeuristic society and the additional pressure it puts on celebrities with those kind of issues.
I’m sure that some people are truly cold hearted vultures, but some of us just can’t deal with these kinds of things due to our own issues.
I guess I’m just trying to say that I think there’s line between being cynically unsurprised towards something terrible that I couldn’t have helped avoid, and actively bashing the dead (or living).
One last thing, I can certainly see alcoholism as a disease, especially when there is a genetic component. I’m bipolar, and I don’t see the onset of a substance abuse problem as being very different than a later life onset mental disorder.
Well said Lindsay!!
I just wanted to post and thank you for making your TLC video. “Waterfalls” was a hit when I was 10-11, and TLC was instantly my favorite group after I heard it. I even dressed up as Left Eye for Halloween when I was 12.When I heard about her fatal accident, I spent the day in a daze. She’d been my idol for years, and I was devastated, to say the least.
Watching your video, I held it together pretty well when you got to talking about Left Eye until you mentioned looking back to when you were 9, and I just lost it. I cried until the end of the video.
TLC is still my favorite girl group. They’re the only example I can find of a group of women who empower little girls to love who they are and not change for anyone. We seriously need more role models like them for girls these days, and I haven’t seen anyone stepping up to the plate. Should I ever have a daughter in the future, she’s GOING to be a fan of TLC
First lets just get introductions out of the way: my name is Jacob, I’m an art student, big fan of Lindsay’s, just found this blog, keep it up Lindsay we all love you.
I gotta say, the “cancer is worse than mental illness” argument is a WEIRD way to frame this discussion. Like, really weird. And I don’t think its entirely truthful, to be perfectly honest. I think its a very narrow approach to an issue that is much larger than just “kick the booze through sheer force of will and you are in the clear.”
The issue I think I’m seeing is in the way this argument is being framed. I’ve been seeing a lot of assertions that alcoholics are just self-absorbed and are fully capable of fixing their own problems, they just have to choose to do so. The issue is that (and this is true for most mental disorders) the mentally ill simply don’t have the same kind of agency that not-mentally-ill folks have. Whether its based in trauma or a genetic predisposition, mental illness, be it addictive personality disorder or bipolar disorder or clinical depression or what-have-you, can be utterly crippling to a person’s capacity to control certain aspects of their lives.
And nobody chooses that for themselves. I cannot think of a single instance where someone, having considered all the options, would think “yes, I will surrender control of my life to an unpredictable force that does not have my best interests at heart; that is the sensible thing to do.”
That’s not to absolve someone of responsibility if they have mental illness, though; in that sense I do agree with what many people are saying. But to say that negligence and abuse are the results of “irresponsibility” is just…irresponsible. Child abuse is a horrific thing, but it doesn’t just happen when you don’t pay attention; there is almost always significant trauma or sickness behind it. Maybe the abuser were abused themselves. Heck, culture itself exerts an incredible amount of pressure on individuals (Lindsay wouldn’t have so much to say on the subject if it weren’t worth discussing after all); if you combine the extreme religious right rhetoric of submission and obedience with psychopathy, for example (I’m thinking of a certain Texas judge), you’ve got an extremely dangerous individual that doesn’t necessarily know better because they were raised in an environment that doesn’t even interpret beating and burning and humiliating as abuse, but as teaching methods. It’s horrifying, but its out there.
I was fortunate enough not to grow up in that sort of situation that but I’ve seen it in the families of friends and its so easy to just blame the aggressor, but we’ve got to keep in mind that there is so much more going on here than what’s occurring at the surface. Cultural influence, trauma, mental illness: none of this is under a person’s control. No one chooses to be mentally ill, nobody chooses the suffer abuse and nobody chooses the way they were raised. They don’t always know better; the degree of their suffering may be so great that their very perception of reality is skewed beyond recognition. Maybe beyond redemption.
To say that an alcoholic just has to sober up and it’ll all be better is like saying a cancer patient just has to beat cancer and they’ll be better. It’s not like you just wish all that stuff away and it goes; it has to be treated. It has to be addressed, and it has to be watched for your entire life to avoid going back into remission (both with mental illness and cancer).
Mental illness isn’t always something you can just will yourself through. Past a certain point of severity it is too much to overcome by willpower alone. Granted, if the severity of the condition is within manageable levels but abuse is still happening then there is definitely culpability on their part and they should be admonished for it. But I worry that there is a lack of compassion to the neg side of this argument when their are attempts to out-do the pos side with “cancer is way worse than alcoholism.”
Does it really matter which is worse? They’re both crippling diseases, they both can kill you, they both put immense strain on your loved ones…why does it matter which is worse? They are both terrible enough on their own. It doesn’t need to be a competition. I do think that the mental illness/cancer comparison makes for useful metaphors when discussing these issues, but I don’t think one needs to be worse than the other one for the discussion to progress.
Ultimately, I suppose, I am reminded of The Golden Rule with respect to our treatment of alcoholism and mental illness at large. I think compassion in the face of illness, acknowledgement of the demons it brings, support for those struggling to fight them, strength in the face of weakness…without it we aren’t going to see any progress for the individuals in our own lives who are struggle and for the mentally ill within society as a whole.a
…I guess that’s all I’ve got to say about it. I didn’t think there was that much to say, come to think of it. This warrants further thought on my part.
Anyways, keep up the good work, Lindsay. We, the impersonal lines of text that appear on your blog from that mythic sphere of existence called the internet, love you dearly. We’re here for you.